Updating my journal again... because I have lots I want to write down.
My friend says I'm old-fashioned, I say it's because I write romance. But truthfully, realization has dawned on me. The reality has been unveiled because of the dance last night. It just comes to show how separated everyone is at my school.
A friend that I had known since Kindergarten was telling me how she was drunk last night at the dance. And I was practically speechless. REALITY!! I didn't even know that people did drugs and drank at my school! Holy crap, I am so goddamn clueless. How can I be so unaware? But seriously, our school is practically divided into two groups: Asian and Caucausion. These groups live in their own worlds, and it just so happens I'm kind of in the middle... so that's why I'm being informed of these things. I don't want to stick with my group... I want good relationships in both...
Apparently grinding is normal at dances...? Uh what? No way in hell would I grind with a guy! I really don't get it! Why isn't it a big deal to dance with a guy? Like two of my friends were having a competition as to who could get more guys to dance with them... and I was pretty much distressed by those two. I'm very uncomfortable and nervous around guys. I really too shy, I think. And I haven't had my first dance yet, and I want it to be with a guy I really, really, really like. And that's when my friend says I'm old-fashioned. I'm serious about these things!! First dance, first kiss, first official hand holding... For me, it's not just nothing, it would mean a lot. If it were my way, everyone would be doing slow dancing with the person they love wearing elegant clothings and dancing to love ballads. Haha! I am never going to dances anymore... unless it's prom!
During the whole dance... I kept thinking that Cloud must have danced really close with a girl before at his dances... thinking that made me unhappy. Damn. Even if I wished he were here so I could with him.
But apparently none of my friends have the same point of views as me. They just think I'm picky and unreasonable... See what I mean about no one understanding me?! Geez...